Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears. - Bobby Tyre Jones
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. - Dave Barry
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot. - Don Adams
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. - Hank Aaron
It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get. - Arnold Palmer
Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies. - Bobby Jones
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
A perfectly straight shot with a big club is a fluke. - Jack Nicklaus
You know what they say about big hitters... the woods are full of them. - Jimmy Demaret
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it. - Jack Nicklaus
You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket. - Lee Trevino
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the Nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx